Got Sardines?

The downward spiral continued this week that started with an off the cuff remark by a resident at my doctor's office. I was in ostensibly to make sure my brace fit and to fill my basket with the no-no upon no-no of activities that could affect the healing of my foot. My unimpressive, difficult to find, hidden, little stress fracture. But, resident's have to be thorough so they can get the brownie points from the boss.

With my doctor out of the room, the resident asked if I had ever had a bone density scan. I quipped that I had never heard of one. He launched into a lecture series on bone density and osteo-this-that-and-the-other-thing. During the post-lecture Q&A, I asked if that was mostly just a problem for the Mah Jong set? Turns out, he says, that anyone can have low bone density and that may explain my fracture. Funny right, this isn't Grandma Edna slipping in the parking lot at Kohl's fracturing a hip and then suddenly six weeks later her poor, bereaved family is eating a bagel with whitefish salad at her Shiva call wondering how it all happened so fast. "She was so vibrant, I can't believe she died buying Hanukkah presents."

No! This was me, runner, cyclist and healthy eater. I was only in this damn boot because I went too damn fast in a trail race, twisted my ankle (twice) and then didn't wait long enough for it to heal before setting out to run the Turkey Trot. I am not an old lady. I am a stupid, middle aged man who likes endurance sports. That said, my doctor wrote the prescription and his helpful (tongue so far in cheek it pokes a hole all the way through) receptionist made the appointment for me so I could get a DEXA scan.

DEXA scan? What the hell is that? Well, here you go:

Dexa stands for ‘Dual Energy X-ray Absorptiometry’. It is the most commonly used test for measuring bone mineral density. It is the best way to diagnosis osteopenia or osteoporosis.

Source: http://www.osteopenia3.com/dexa-scans.html

The actual test takes minutes, but like so many things in life, a few minutes can change your life. I was told not to drink any milk the day of the test -- this would prove to be the irony of all this. I was asked to lay on a table and then the laser scanner swept across my body. It felt like I as being faxed or prepared to be attached to an email. Turns out, neither of those jokes are funny.

Results are immediate and are divided into T scores and Z scores. I don't really remember what a Z score is, but I am going to update this when I get more info. And, scores are divided into hip and spine scores. My hip was good, so Edna and I won't meet the same fate and her share of the candy dish at next week's Canasta mixer is all mine if I can make it past the piles of snow that Chicago can't seem to remove from the sidewalks. (Aside/just wondering: does the same department write the parking tickets and clear the snow? Seems like you could just write the tickets, collect your double OT and say there were too many cars to plow and then go back later, get some more OT after your overtime loving brother-in-law who drives the tow truck pulls the cars out of your way so you can plow, but I digress).

My spine score was not good and now I am faced with the prospect of osteopenia, which sounds dirty, but is so far from being dirty as to be just plain sad.

How exciting is this news? So wonderful that my Google searching has headed in a new direction. No bike porn today, no political rants and no checking to see how the bond market is doing, instead, I stared at the blinking cursor in the search box and typed: calcium rich foods. And, guess what I discovered? Sardines in the can (which does sound dirty), top the list.

Odd fish the sardine. Used more liberally as a metaphor than a food.

Sardines? Who knew?